When your lover is blindfolded and can’t see what’s going on around them, the rest of their senses may feel heightened as they work on understanding what’s going on in their surroundings.
By depriving your partner of their eyesight with a blindfold, you are allowing them an opportunity to transition mindsets, out of their everyday realities and concerns and into a deeper, embodied state of awareness.
This is an excellent opportunity to think about the other 4 senses - sound, taste, touch, and smell - and take your partner on a blindfold enhanced journey through them.
Set the scene
Get creative, go around your house finding different safe-to-put-on-near-or-in-your-body items, close your eyes, and feel/taste/smell them. If they seem like they may be interesting, add them to your set up for your scene.
Scent:If your partner likes scented candles, find one in a scent they find relaxing or intoxicating (floral or musky is a great starting place) and light it a safe distance from the bed. If they prefer natural scents, consider interesting smelling spices or fresh flowers.
Sound: In advance, make a playlist of mellow or sultry tunes, whatever gets you both in the mood.
Touch:Try to have a variety of different types of sensory experiences ready to go: slick, cold, soft, silky, abrasive, etc. For example, a (new, unused) feather duster, a silk ribbon, ice, massage oil, an exfoliating sponge, or a makeup brush are all great options. If you are in a position to purchase some satin sheets, that can be a delightful way to further engage their senses.
Taste: You can also consider bringing small treats or snacks to feed them while they are wearing the blindfold, like berries, chocolate, wine, juice, or whipped cream.
BDSM:If you and your partner are into various forms of pain play, such as canes, spanking paddles, or floggers, a blindfold can help amplify and intensify the experience by bringing them even further into their bodily awareness.
Think through pragmatics as well - if you will be asking your partner to be attuned with their body on a sensual blindfolded sensory journey, they may be laying still for a prolonged period of time. Make sure the surface they have to lay on is comfortable and the room is an adequate temperature for their needs.
Invite your partner
Let your partner know you’ve planned a sensual surprise for them, and when it’s the right time, blindfold them outside of the room you’ve prepared for the experience. Carefully guide them into the room, and help them get situated.
The act of leading them from one room to another while blindfolded serves two functions: It encourages a mental shift - while they may be familiar with the space you are guiding them into, entering the room without being able to see anything will prevent visual reminders of things left on their to do list - and it is the very first part of a trust journey that encourages them to relax into you taking charge of the situation and guiding some of their bodily experiences.
During the scene
- Follow your instincts and your partners nonverbals as you take them through each type of sensation, changing up what sense is stimulated and how.
- Remember your body itself is a powerful sensual tool - a whisper in their ear, or fluttering your eyelashes across their cheek, can be thrilling - especially if in isolation, with no other form of touch to distract them.
- Try to vary different sensations - an ice cube on the lips followed by a feather dragged across their body, for example, gradually working your way up to more intense or intimate forms of touch.
- Watch carefully for gasps, blushes, and toe twitching as your signs that your partner may be ready for more.
- If you can, try not to talk too much. The goal here is to get them as deeply into their bodies as possible.
Emotional Care and Aftercare
While a simple blindfolded sensual journey may seem on the mild end of “mild to wild” kink adventures, the experience of being blindfolded, the center of attention, and deep in their bodily awareness can induce feelings of vulnerability that may be intense for your partner, especially if they have any trauma history.
If it seems to stir up some deeper and more complex emotions for them, it’s particularly important to do a check in before progressing to anything of a sexual nature, even if you have a well established sexual dynamic and don’t usually check in anymore. This doesn’t need to feel clinical: whispering in their ear, “may I ____,” close enough that your lips brush against them, can be a sensual experience in itself!
Be open to the possibility that, if it brings up powerful feelings of vulnerability, they may not be ready for sexual touch as a part of the experience. For aftercare, a weighted blanket or really cozy pair of pajamas can help settle their nerves down after being explored so thoroughly.
Notes on Safety
How extensively this scene needs to be prenegotiated will depend on what you have planned and the specifics of your dynamic. You may want to inform your partner you plan on blindfolding them, and let them know that if any point they feel uncomfortable being blindfolded, they can remove it and you won’t be upset or offended.
Some couples choose to use a safe word - a word that wouldn’t usually come up in the bedroom but means “I need this to stop.” A great system is yellow/red: yellow means, “I’m getting uncomfortable but I’m not at a stop point,” and red means, “I need everything to stop right now.”
Alternatively, if folks are not planning on any kind of power play dynamic as a part of the experience, some people choose to just take any hesitation at face value and check in with their partner’s comfort regularly.
Involving BDSM Restraints
If you plan on using any restraints during your play, so they may be unable to remove the leather blindfold themselves, it’s particularly important to make sure they feel comfortable stating their comfort needs.
Involving a Ball Gag Head Harness
If you plan to also involve a ball gag head harness, negotiate some nonverbal way they can signal they need a break - such as tapping the bed firmly and repeatedly with a free hand, or a specific series of grunts, such as an “uh uh” noise usually used to indicate “nope.”